Of
God's goodness and love
Background- Who is Jesus
?
When I was in Primary 3,
my parents decided to move me and my siblings (elder brother and sister) to
a Christian school. As my parents/they come from ancestry worship
traditions, this would have been the furthest and most extreme idea in
their mind. It was puzzling for me and I still do not understand what
motivated them to do so. Looking back into this part of my life, I dare say
God works in ways beyond our finite understanding. It was my first encounter
with Jesus. I believe that it was God’s divine plan for us to learn and
know Him. In the beginning I was curious to want to know more. It was
difficult, however, as we were not brought up with Christian values or in a
Christian family. I was both excited but lost and struggling as I do not
know how to find out more about this Jesus. Like most of the local Chinese
people in Jakarta we grow in ancestry worship but there were so many
questions in my mind about Jesus, who is He, why people crucified Him, what
is so special about this man from Galilee, how does he save people and why
is it that he can forgive sinners. Why “For God so love the world that he
gave His only begotten Son that whosever believes in Him shall not perish
but have everlasting life”. What is the meaning of all this to me- a little
girl growing up. What he did that He can save people and how come He can
forgive us.
Church attendence
By divine coincidence, I
came to know about a church just one lane across from my house. Although
the church is close to my house, spiritually it was far from my mind. There
were a lot of fear and doubt in my mind and it took a lot of time and some
courage to start attending the church.
In the beginning, my
church going pattern was irregular and the significance of being in the
House of God to worship, praise, fellowship ..etc has not make an impact on
me. It took some time before I get involve in more routine reading of the
bible and cultivate a prayer life.
Water Baptism
By the year 1988, exactly
20 years ago, I decided to be baptized, declared the sinners prayer and my
faith in Jesus. Not unexpectedly, my parents objected to my decision and
was not so happy about my decision.
As a young Christian in
an environment and family of disbelieving parents and friends, it was really
uphill. There were many practices in ancestry worship and ways of doing
things like idol worship which was against my belief according to the Word
of God. So it was a difficult period for a young teenager like me, always
acting in defiance and standing up for Jesus. I do believe, with hindsight
however, that the choices and decisions I took pleases my God and I stood
out for Him. Amen.
It has been 20 years
since I know and walk with Jesus, I have found Jesus to be part of my life
and in every single step of my life. He is there.
His hand is on me
In December 1996, an
incident took place in my life whilst I was on holidays in Tasikmalaya ( a
city in West Java). Through this event, I really sense Jesus in my life. If
not for Jesus, I may not be here writing this testimony of His mighty help.
There was a riot in Tasikmalaya (a city at West Java) where they burned
churches and christian houses. They also burned the house that I was
staying. God amazingly save us.
In May 1998, a mass riot
in Jakarta toppled former President Suharto. In this tragic event, many
shopping malls, houses and cars were burned and also many Chinese people
were killed. Many innocent lives were loss. Again God comforted and
protected us.
When William (my husband)
and I decided to get married, we approached the church for a holy matrimony,
we were declined as the Pastor David Baca was scheduled to leave Jakarta in
December 2001. There was no other Pastoral staff to prepare and conduct a
holy matrimony on behalf of the church for us. In an unexpected turn of
event, our Pastor was required to stay back for medical conditions
(arthritis). Again, I want to testify of God’s goodness in that he make a
way, and it was great news ( for us) that the Pastor have to stay back for
three months until March 2002 and we held our Holy Matrimony on 19 Jan
2002.
Everybody remembers the
great big flood in Jakarta on 1st Feb 2002 and everything in
Jakarta came to a standstill with the entire city inundated with flood
waters. We sensed God’s invisible hand in our lives as this happened exactly
after our wedding. Even God held back the big flood (that hit Jakarta one
week after the wedding party).
In 28 November 2002, God
blessed me with a healthy baby boy Jabez.
God comforts
In November 2004, I
suffered my first miscarriage, followed by a second miscarriage in March
2005, and again a third miscarriage in August 2005. The third miscarriage
was due to atopic pregnancy and the doctor have to operate on me and sever
my fallopian tube to right ovary at 3 am in the morning and it could not
be delayed. Everything happened so fast and the next thing I know was I was
lying in the hospital bed remembering only the astonishing pain on the right
abdomen. As if not enough, just 3 days after the operation, as my body was
still weak from the operation, I was infected with dengue fever in September
2005. Again I was hospitalized for another week ( 1 week) but my conditions
got worse and grew critical until my thrombosis (palette count of blood)
drop to 4,000 of 150,000 for normal condition. God healed me. In the midst
of my struggle with life and death, I was thankful that He sustained and
comforted me.
God bless us
We were hoping for
another baby, and our relatives with the best of intentions even bring
Chinese medicine for inducing pregnancy all the way from China to us in
Jakarta. Both my husband and myself rejected them and in fact returned the
medicine by bringing back from Jakarta to Singapore. We commit our desires
to God in prayers and again God work in His own timing and even without my
knowing. At the end of Dec 2006, we were holidaying and riding horses in
Mt Bromo in East Java and when we got back on 3 Jan 2007, I went to doctor
for a check as I felt nausea and also did a pregnancy test. I conceived
again. Had I know that I was pregnant(3 weeks already), I would probably
have not rode on the horse.
God heal
In view of the early
caesarian delivery, my gynaecologist/gynee Dr Tony Tan at Raffles Hospital
was concerned about the rapture of the womb. And against my doctor’s
cautious advice, I decided to have a normal delivery because I know that
that is the correct and biblical way to deliver a baby. My husband let me to
decide, and Dr Tony Tan continued to highlight the risks involved because of
my first delivery via caesarean operation. When my waterbag leaked on 25
August 2007, 3 weeks earlier from the due date, I know God was there with me
and make everything easy and fast. We name him Raphael and call him Rapha
for short in remembrance of our Jehovah Rapha- God that heals .
A longer love
Like I always tell my son
Jabez that we love him and his brother Rapha equally like God loves us all
the same, but I love Jabez (the elder son) 5 years longer and its makes him
happy and special. So do I, I feel blessed and special that I know Jesus
early in my life ( longer) , and as I look back, I have no regrets
following our Master even as I missed and gave up many worldly things and
indulgences that all the teenager friends of mine did in their time.
In God’s Blessings
By Ang Sui Tjie
April 2008
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