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Jabez

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Nothing touches a child like a mother's love
 

 

Of God's goodness and love

Background- Who is Jesus ?

When I was in Primary 3, my parents decided to move me and my siblings (elder brother and sister) to a Christian school. As my parents/they come from ancestry worship traditions, this would have been the furthest  and most extreme idea in their mind.  It was puzzling for me and I  still do not understand what motivated them to do  so. Looking back into this part of my life, I dare say God works in ways beyond our finite understanding. It was my first encounter with Jesus.  I believe that it was God’s divine plan for us to learn and know Him. In the beginning I was curious to want to know more. It was difficult, however, as we were not brought up  with Christian values or in a Christian family. I was both excited but  lost and struggling as I do not know  how to find out more about this  Jesus. Like most of the local Chinese people in Jakarta we grow in ancestry worship but there were so many questions in my mind about Jesus, who is He, why people crucified Him, what is so special about this man from Galilee, how does he save people and why is it that he  can forgive sinners. Why “For God so love the world that he gave His only begotten Son that whosever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life”. What is the meaning of all this to me-  a little girl growing up. What he did that He can save people and how come He can forgive us.

 

Church attendence

By divine coincidence, I came to know about a church just one lane across from my house.  Although the church is close to my house, spiritually it was far from my mind. There were a lot of fear and doubt  in my mind and it took a lot of time  and some courage  to start attending the church.

In the beginning, my church going  pattern was irregular  and the significance of being in the House of God to worship, praise, fellowship ..etc has not make an impact on me. It took some time  before I get involve in more routine reading of the bible and cultivate a prayer life.

 

Water Baptism

By the year 1988, exactly 20 years ago, I decided to be baptized, declared  the sinners prayer and my faith in Jesus. Not unexpectedly, my parents objected to my decision and  was not so happy about my decision.

 

As a young Christian in an environment and family of disbelieving parents and friends, it was really uphill. There were many practices in ancestry worship and ways of doing  things like idol worship  which was against my belief according to the Word of God. So it was a difficult period for a young teenager like me, always acting in defiance and standing up for Jesus. I do believe, with hindsight however, that the choices and decisions  I took pleases my God and I stood out for Him. Amen.

 

It has been 20 years since I know  and walk with Jesus, I have found Jesus  to be part of my life and in every single step of my life. He is there.

 

His hand  is on me

In December 1996, an incident took place in my life whilst I was on holidays in Tasikmalaya ( a city in West Java).  Through this event, I really sense Jesus in my life. If not for Jesus, I may not be here writing this testimony of His mighty help. There was a riot in Tasikmalaya (a city at West Java) where they burned churches and christian houses. They also  burned the house that I  was staying.  God amazingly save us.

 

In May 1998, a mass riot in Jakarta  toppled former President Suharto. In this tragic event, many shopping malls, houses and cars were burned and also many Chinese people were killed. Many innocent lives were loss. Again God comforted  and protected us.

 

When William (my husband) and I decided to get married, we approached the church for a holy matrimony, we were declined as the Pastor David Baca was scheduled to leave Jakarta in December 2001. There was no other Pastoral staff to prepare and conduct a  holy matrimony on behalf of the church for us. In an unexpected turn of event, our Pastor was required to stay back for medical conditions (arthritis). Again, I want to testify of God’s goodness in that he make a way, and it was great news ( for us)  that the Pastor have to stay back for three months  until March 2002 and we held our Holy Matrimony on 19 Jan 2002.

 

Everybody remembers the great big flood in Jakarta on 1st Feb 2002 and everything in Jakarta came to a standstill with the entire city inundated with flood waters. We sensed God’s invisible hand in our lives as this happened exactly after our wedding. Even God held back the big flood (that hit Jakarta one week after the wedding party).

 

In 28 November 2002, God blessed me with a healthy baby boy Jabez.

God comforts

In November 2004, I suffered my first miscarriage, followed by a second miscarriage in March 2005, and again a third miscarriage in August 2005.  The third miscarriage was due to atopic pregnancy  and the doctor have to operate on me and sever my  fallopian  tube to right ovary at 3 am in the morning and it could not be delayed. Everything happened so fast and the next thing I know was I was lying in the hospital bed remembering only the astonishing pain on the right abdomen.  As if not enough, just 3 days after the operation, as my body was still weak from the operation, I was infected with dengue fever in September 2005. Again I was hospitalized for another week ( 1 week)  but my conditions got worse and grew critical until my thrombosis (palette count of blood) drop to  4,000  of 150,000 for normal condition. God healed me. In the midst of my struggle with life and death, I was thankful that He sustained and comforted me.

 

God bless us

We were hoping for another baby, and  our relatives  with the best of intentions even bring Chinese medicine  for inducing  pregnancy  all the way from  China to us in Jakarta.  Both my husband and myself rejected them and in fact returned the medicine by bringing back from Jakarta to Singapore.  We commit our desires to God in prayers and again God work in His own timing and even without my knowing.  At the end of  Dec 2006, we were holidaying and riding horses in Mt Bromo in East Java and when we got back on 3 Jan 2007, I went to doctor for a check as I felt nausea and also did a pregnancy test. I conceived again. Had I know that I was pregnant(3 weeks already), I would probably have not rode on the horse.

 

God heal

In view of the early caesarian delivery, my gynaecologist/gynee  Dr Tony Tan at Raffles Hospital was concerned about the rapture of the womb. And against my doctor’s cautious advice, I decided to have a normal delivery because I know that that is the correct and biblical way to deliver a baby. My husband let me to decide, and Dr Tony Tan continued to highlight the risks involved because of my first delivery via caesarean operation. When my waterbag leaked on 25 August 2007, 3 weeks earlier from the due date, I know God was there with me and make everything easy and fast.  We name him Raphael and call him Rapha for short  in remembrance of our Jehovah Rapha- God that heals .

 

A longer love

Like I always tell my son Jabez that we love him and his brother Rapha equally like God loves us all the same, but I love Jabez (the elder son) 5 years longer and its makes him happy and special. So do I, I feel blessed and special that I know Jesus early in my life ( longer) , and as I look back,  I have no regrets following our Master even as I missed and gave up many worldly things and indulgences that all the teenager friends of mine did  in their time.

 

In God’s Blessings

By Ang Sui Tjie

April 2008